One of my favorite songs by Jeramy Camp has a line that says “I will walk by faith, even if I cannot see…” I always have to remind myself that there is so much that cannot be seen, and lean on the promises that God is working EVERYTHING out for His glory, for the “BIg GOd Picture”, and that it’s not always about ME! Romans 8:28 Who doesn’t love that verse! But, the hardest time for me to believe that was when our previous adoption from Haiti didn’t end in the way that we had dreamed. There have been a handful of times in my life that I have heard from God so clearly, with the deepest conviction and to the depth of my soul, that God was calling me to do something (I wish God would always give me that clarity) One was that I was to marry my husband (weeks within meeting each other), and the other was to adopt (both now and the first time around). I don’t know why things happened the way they did, and I will have a little chat with God about it all when I get to meet Him in heaven. Why would God call us to adopt if the end result wouldn’t be a child? It was a dark, painful time, the loss of a dream, and confusion (There were also some unjust decisions made by the previous orphange director that blocked the process, which was a hard pill to swallow). BUT, it has blown me away how God has been bringing things full circle. While we didn’t bring a child home from Haiti, the process was a catalyst for our friends, Scott and April to bring home two beautiful boys from Haiti, and the result of their now being the directors of New HOpe Haiti Mission. Soon, they will be leaving to go serve in Haiti as missionaries. God has been using them in such awesome ways over the last few years in Haiti and here back home! And now, April is the catalysit that led us to Vanya! While God led us to Ukraine clearly, it was through April that we came to know our child was Vanya! I copied an entry from April’s blog that talks a bit about it all. God was weaving our story all along. While we continue to walk by faith, I just love when God allows me a little sneak peek into it all!
“Destiny itself is like a wonderful wide tapestry in which every thread is guided by an unspeakably tender hand, placed beside another thread and held and carried by a hundred others.”-Rilke
In 2006, my friend Kristin announced to our small Bible study group that she and her husband, Mat, were considering an adoption in Haiti. She told all about Mat’s trips to Haiti and an orphanage called New Hope Haiti Mission and how the director was making the children available for adoption. She was heading down to Haiti to meet the kids with one child in mind for their family. Coming back from that trip, Kristin invited all the Bible study ladies over to tell about her trip and show us pictures.
I’ll never forget that moment as I flipped through her photo album and I saw the speaking picture
. It was a picture of Jeff. Of course, Kristin told me his name was David and that led to some confusion
for awhile. In October of 2006, Kristin, Mat, Scott, and I headed down to Haiti together. They were hand delivering their dossier to the adoption facilitator. Haiti was a political pressure cooker at that time which meant we had to remain in the compound the whole time. It meant lots of time with the children. For us, it was our first time
meeting our sons and bonding. For Kristin and Mat it was a time of frustration and disappointment. Paperwork for their perspective child had not been done and they couldn’t leave the compound to meet with the facilitator. It seemed like things were not falling into place. For us it was a time of discovering God’s plan
. For them, it was a time of doubt and confusion about God’s plan.
We returned home and unloaded on each other as friends. Long story short, Kristin and Mat withdrew their paperwork. There was a non-refundable $5,000 deposit in Haiti that was already submitted for their adoption. Graciously, they were allowed to transfer it to us which was a bittersweet gift for us. It was a much needed gift since we had finally committed to adopt both boys. It was painful and horrible for Kristin and Mat. Their dreams of adoption were shattered. My heart broke for my friends.
I know that it has been painful for them to see us bring Jeff and David home. It was supposed to be their dream, too. Thankfully, in spite of disappointment, Kristin and I have remained close friends. I prayed for her as she went through a year of grieving the broken dream. I tried to say the right things. I failed at that often.
Earlier this year, Kristin told me that they had decided to try to adopt again. She shared with me her fears and concerns. Deep inside there was still a wound concerning Haiti. As they prayed and prayed over it, Ukraine kept coming up. They decided on Ukraine and got their dossier together. They had a submission date of Sept 1.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I shared about Vanya on my blog and Facebook. I wondered if Kristin had seen the post. Finally I asked her if she had (she hadn’t) and I told her to go read about Vanya. I thought if anything she may know of another family.
A few days later I talked to Adéye. She stressed that they needed a paper-ready family to come forward asap. I told her that I had shared Vanya with Kristin who was paper-ready. I called Kristin to see if she had read up on Vanya and much to my delight, not only had she done that, they were emailing with the Eli Project (the group that was advocating for him). She shared, through tears, how God was prompting them to move forward. I was amazed! The week was a whirlwind for Kristin who was at the beach for spring break (holy week), and I was honored to help her gather information, make contacts, scan her homestudy, etc. At one point it hit me between the eyes: Kristin was the instrument that God had used to lead me to my sons and now I was the instrument that He was using to lead Kristin to hers! How awesome is our God! He restores. He makes all things new.
Out of the ashes- beauty. Out of our tightly knotted and threaded lives, some parts seen and others not- brilliant art by the Master Weaver.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28